The old journal was well, quite frankly old. I just need a fresh page here. Updates? Well, this was indeed the year of losing friends, first loves and family to differences, dissolution and death. But, I remain steadfastly around puttering through my old ways while inventing new ways and remaining constant in my morals.

Continue to create no matter the cost.

LOVE

A random thought I have been chewing on lately:

I kick myself all the time for getting sad whenever I have move out and leave. I suppose it is because at times i get hopelessly nostalgic over things like tiny pieces of paper. However, I have found that making the changes often provide the opportunity for the greatest growth-whether it be artistically or personally. While often I find change somewhat disconcerting, without it I can never become all I can and should be.

And yet, here I am talking about change and I have started every sentence with "I." I suppose that is a different problem entirely that i will have to work on changing.

Okay, so I have never ever done one of these journal pass along things, but this one I truly could not resist.

Your boy side:

[x] you love hoodies.
[x] you love jeans.
[ ] dogs are better than cats.
[ ] it's hilarious when people get hurt.
[x] you've played with/against boys on a team.
[ ] shopping is torture.
[x] sad movies suck.
[ ] you own an x-box.
[x] played with hotwheels cars as a kid.
[x] at some point in time you wanted to be a firefighter.
[ ] you own a DS, PS2 or sega.
[ ] you used to be obsessed with Power Rangers.
[ ] you watch sports on TV.
[x] gory movies are cool.
[x] you go to your dad for advice.
[ ] you own like a trillion baseball caps.
[ ] you like going to football games.
[ ] you used to/do collect baseball cards.
[x] baggy pants are cool to wear.
[ ] it's kinda weird to have sleepovers with a bunch of people.
[x] green, black, red, blue, or silver are one of your favorite colors.
[x] you love to go crazy and not care what people think.
[ ] sports are fun.
[x] talk with food in your mouth.
[x] wear boxers.

Total = 13


Your girl side:

[x] you wear lip gloss.
[x] you love to shop.
[x] you wear eyeliner.
[x] you have some of the same shirts in different colors.
[x] you wear the color pink.
[ ] go to your mom for advice.
[ ] you consider cheerleading a sport
[ ] you hate wearing the color black.
[ ] you like hanging out at the mall.
[ ] you like getting manicures and/or pedicures.
[x] you like wearing jewelry.
[x] skirts are a big part of your wardrobe.
[x] shopping is one of your favorite hobbies.
[ ] you don't like the movie Star Wars.
[x] you are/were in cheerleading, gymnastics or dance.
[ ] it takes you around 1 hour to shower, get dressed, and put on make-up and accessories.
[x] you smile a lot more than you should.
[x] you have more than 10 pairs of shoes.
[x] you care about what you look like.
[x] you like wearing dresses when you can.
[x] you like wearing body spray/perfume/cologne.
[x] you wear girl underwear.
[x] used to play with dolls as little kid.
[ ] like putting make-up on someone else for the joy of it.
[ ] like taking pictures of yourself with your cell phone/camera when you're bored.

Total = 16

I thought I would still turn out to be more female. I love being a girl way too much to ever turn out to be male dominant in my mind. But, my boy side put up a good show. I liked this because it shows how far your girliness or boy-ness goes. Just like there are not two categories of gay and straight, there are not just two solid genders, in my opinion. You are not only allowed to be 100% boy. Rather these little check marks say, hey, your like 80 % boy or something like that. I like it when we allow those odd gray areas to seep into our western right and wrong binary system of thought...

This made me laugh. [link] Why I cannot say. Just thought I should share.

Things seem to be happening so fast lately. I seem to be getting a lot of things flip open and reveal glowing screens. I am not complaining merely observing if these things are helping or hurting...(the answer that comes to mind is no, but I am going to repress those thoughts.) However, My cat likes to bat at them so they must be fascinating.

ANYWAYS, is anyone else excited for Eclipse?! [Third book of Stephine Meyer's. Oh how I enjoy employing brackets!] Gawd, I shiver with antip...ation. FOUR DAYS and three nights of broken sleep!!!

I just thinking the other day, somebody needs to have a ball. The hotel we stayed at had this little sign (that I highly doubt many people get around to reading) saying that the first floor was reserved for waltzing couples, there was a special "crow's nest" at the very top that the orchestra was concealed upon and each floor had a balcony so that everyone could watch the couples below. That is going to an extreme but, wouldn't it be lovely?

You get me talking about Edward and you see what happens? I get all gushy, mushy, oozy.

Ten college applications at first sounds manageable, but I find now I am utterly wrong. I am up to my ears in applications and scholarships that I am feeling like a single fruit loop in a bowl of milk. My advice to any rising seniors: start early and make sure you are not applying somewhere that holds no promise for you.

Taking what I said above, it may appear I have not been doing art. Oh of course not, my dear friend! I have not had as much time as I would like to do my own art. However, I have been going to life drawing open studio; and have been learning to see rather than think. I would love to put up some of the drawings, but sadly, since they are going in the portfolio, it will not been seen here.

So.....I think I need to wimp out on a previous claim. I will not have time to do a pirate comic book any time in the near future. It will take a lot more research and thought than I had planned for. I do still plan to submit it someday, just not any time soon. Still, some of the concept art might go up.

Happy Holidays